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“So, Umm…Did you want another mojito?”


tears for dinner, please.

…was my brilliant line when I approached my last table of the night to find the lady sitting there quietly sobbing.

Ummmm, what?!

She was there with her boyfriend and they seemd like your average, 30 something couple just sharin’ some fajitas at roughly 10:30PM.

And they were breaking up.

And I had no clue what to do.

She choked out the response of, “J-just….a…w-water please”. And I walked away as fast as my orthopedically approved Juanitas shoes would take me.

As I sheepishly came back with the water I heard him saying, “The thing is…is it worth it?”


Not ten minutes later, I have no choice but to swing back by their table because, by now, they are the only remaining humans in the place, and it’s last call. I’m hoping that they are going to box up the remnants of their meal and go settle their biznass in private like sane humans. But no. Ohhhh no. She wants another mojito. And she’s not crying anymore.

Urm, what?

20 more minutes pass before finally they ask for the bill and…ready? She pays.

I mean. That guy is good. I’m not even mad, I’m impressed. You took your  girlfriend to a mexican restaurant to dump her, you made her cry, and then got her to pay for the meal. Brilliant.

Here’s to you, d bag.


Would you like tears with that,


2 Comments leave one →
  1. Ben permalink
    05-21-09 4:07 pm

    I hope she left you a decent tip at least.

    See, waitering lets you peek into the awesome weirdness of other peoples’ lives.

    me = jealous

  2. 05-24-09 1:24 pm

    That’s how i roll too. Word.

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