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Is That a Banana in your Pocket or Are You Robbing Me?

05-19-09

This is not John Szwalla

17 year old John Szwalla attempted to rob a convenience store in North Carolina Thursday by using a banana underneath his shirt  to pose as a gun.

As if that wasn’t enough, according to MSNBC, while the store owner was detaining the thief, he managed to quickly dispose of the “weapon” by eating the banana before police could arrive.

John, John, John. A few things:

1. No one mistreats evidence like that and gets away with it. At least not so long as Horatio patrols crime scenes.

2. Did the store owner tackle you immediately upon seeing you? You can’t even fake a gun long enough to run away?

3. Had you played your cards right, John, you would’ve fooled the store owner with your fruit weapon, gotten the cash, quickly had a snack when you heard the sirens, and then left the peel behind for the first deputy on the scene to slip in. Every policeman thereafter would’ve then run into him and piled up on the ground leaving you plenty of time to escape. Voila. Not only would you be rich, but your crime would’ve been the best entertainment since Vaudeville.

Amateur,

Bob.

Listening to: Christian radio. Gotta love it.

On my mind:  If I hear someone say “stay-cation” one more time, I might go bananas. (see what I did there?)

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