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I noticed a trend today while I was waiting tables.

A lot of the other servers have personalized their “waiter books” by inserting pictures of their loved ones. One guy has his engagement photo tucked into the left side of his book while another has a large picture of his daughter on the inside of his. I assume their reasoning is twofold: 1. To looketh upon their family/friends and find inspiration to serve food to strangers or 2. To up the camaraderie between their tables when they see the pictures and say “Awww who is that?”. Any good waiter knows that the better the connection, the better the tip.

Well I have decided I shall outdo them all. I think I should find a really awkward picture of a creepy dog or me and a guy with a giant red afro or something. Or maybe me and a guy in leather chaps. Or the picture of me as a mime in the 7th grade. Something that causes awkward conversation with both my coworkers and also my customers. I think the decrease in tips would probably be worth it.

Like this one. I could be all, “Oh that’s my little  Snickers. Isn’t she beautiful? Rascal, the World's Ugliest Dog

Or this one. I could say, “This is my fiance, Henry, on Halloween. He is the love of my life.”

Anyhoo–just a thought. Apparently job sabotage comes naturally to me. Add it to the rezzz (my new abrev for resume).

Babs and Choppa,


Listening to: A man on the bus just tell us he is a big old teddy bear. And then my roommate telling him he’s better than sweatpants. Creepy can I?

On my mind: A woman at the restaurant today had a leather jacket with a full American flag on the back. She is a better American than I.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Lyn permalink
    04-03-09 7:01 am

    I have found a priceless site that you could find perfect awkward favorite. This one is my personal favorite: . That would make for a uncomfortable conversation.

  2. Donald Marvin House III permalink
    04-03-09 11:13 pm

    I have so many suggestions for you..

    To increase camaraderie between you and your co-workers..

    Run their food.. then ask the table if they need anything else.. and no matter what they say, find that server and make up things they might possibly need, but don’t. This will no doubt confuse the customer and embarrass the hell out of the server. For example..

    “Hey Steve, table 8 needs a side of Jalapeno Ranch and A Strawberry Lemonade”…

    Steve will then grab said items and bring them to his soon to be befuddled table. Sit back and bask in the awkwardness you have created..

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