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Calling All Dorks


dork chill


Second official serving shift was going fine until my last table of the night.

Table for one. Table for one creepy old man, that is.

He sits, I approach, he asks why I’m smiling and I stutter something about having a good day. Then he drops the bomb: “Do you have margaritas like the ones at The Olive Garden?”

Now, don’t get me wrong, peeps. I have my sudden, chain-restaurant cravings like the rest of you, but margaritas from the OG? That’s like recommending the lobster tail from Applebees. Am I right? Ok that was dork alert no. 1.

The second one came when I was walking in the back to check out with the manager and I overheard what sounded like an escalating argument between a few of the dude servers. I couldn’t make out what they were shouting about until suddenly I heard, “BATTLESTAR GALACTICA IS THE BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION”. My brain went into emergency mode and blocked out the rest of their convo but I really wanted to go over and settle the argument by saying they were all losers. Lucky for them I’m one part nice and one part wimp.

Stick a dork in me I’m done,

Does that sound dirty?

I don’t mean it that way,


Listening to:The upstairs neighbors, the Vamos brothers, try to master Dance Dance Revolution.

On my mind: Wore red today to a writing meeting. Got offered a feature column. Boom: roasted.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Promise permalink
    03-25-09 10:38 am

    Awesome! Congratulations!!! We’ll be needing details on where we can read your features.

    And in answer to “What if I Can’t?”… Every time you think that, think of Rob Schneider saying, “You can doooo eeeeet!” 😉

    No, really, you can!

  2. Ben permalink
    03-25-09 10:54 am

    Hey Congrats on the column gig!

    And in support of the dorks, Battlestar Galactia just ended its series last Friday. And you can bet that I watched it with my fellow geek friends. It was a suprisingly solid show – and I am by no means a sci-fi guy. But come on, Edward James Olmos of Miami Vice, and Mary McDonnell from such noted films as Dances with Wolves? It was a solid show with solid writing.

    The real question is: did you get that guy a margarita and did it meet his Olive Garden standard?

  3. 04-08-09 9:24 pm

    This is crazy but this bartender was making margs for us the other night and we were trying to guess his secret ingredient and couldn’t…his hint to us was “Olive Garden.” Of course we had no idea but eventually found out that the Olive Garden makes special margaritas with amaretto in them. So I guess that is what OG is known for? Just thought I’d pass that on in case that dude comes in next time and you can wow him. 🙂

  4. rushbomb permalink*
    04-09-09 2:33 pm

    no way!! hahahah wow. so he wasnt totally crazy after all. thanks for the tip!

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