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Bird Barter


Ok, America. We need to go over a few things. Lessons that your parents should have taught you.

After reading this article about a woman who tried buying a $1,500 Cockatoo by offering 2 children as trade, I realize we may need a refresher course on what is appropriate and what is not.

1. Children are not financial assets. Especially when they are not your children (she was watching them for a friend).

2. If you are going to sell children, sell them as a package deal. This way they can stay with their siblings (she only sold 2 of the 3 children for the bird). How Rude.

no thanks.

3. Birds are easily the worst pets ever.

4. Is there some creepy code used by online sellers that says ‘mastercard, visa and children accepted’? Wasn’t that offer going out on a limb a bit?

5. If times stay this tough, looks like the safest investment is to start having babies. I’m juuuuust sayin.

Irreverantly yours,


Listening to: “People often mistake me for Beyonce. Same moves; buns” –37 year old man.

On My Mind: I just arm wrestled the Flu and it won.

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