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Anna Monopeea presents…SYRUP: A Mystery

02-07-09

syrup-3Among the top problems in America today, there’s the war, soaring unemployment, and, the persisting smell of maple syrup.  Seriously.  As I dutifully logged onto the NYTimes.com today (being the cultured and concerned citizen I am) my eyes lazily scanned the headlines (main headline: “Economy Sheds 598,000 Jobs in January”—real cheery guys.)  until my eyes immediately focused on a headline I dare you to resist:  “Aromatic Mystery in New York Finally Solved.”  Being a lover of mysteries and, for that matter, all things aromatic, I clicked through to the full article, not knowing I was about to read the most hard hitting article NY Times has ever published.  I envy the reporter who got such a hot tip. (And the guy who found Blagojevich tapes thought HE had stuck gold) 

 To give you a taste (while I urgently advise reading the whole thing) here’s the first paragraph:  Baffled city investigators began calling them “maple syrup events”: mysterious waves of sweet-smelling air that periodically wafted over Manhattan, delighting some, troubling others and vanishing as quickly as they had arrived. 

I kept reading till the end to see if this thing was real (I was recently duped by an article on AdAge claiming Disney was “right-sizing” the Jonas Bros and eliminating the least cute member.  Still a little bummed it wasn’t real. The world needs less tweens in ascots teeny bop drop).  And sure enough—this article is as real as my collection of middle school poetry, and almost as embarrassing.  

Yes, dear friends, people in New York are deeply concerned (and also delighted? Weird.) with the smell of maple syrup invading their nostrils.  This, is ABSOLUTELY worth the tax money to assemble a “crack maple-syrup team that remained on the case” since the first maple attack of ’05.  

 

So keep those noses in the air (unless you had a bad childhood experience with syrup) and remember that mysterious smells in the air take precedent over the recession.  Always.

 

First official sign off,

 

Anna Monopeea

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