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It’s Getting Ugly Out There…


In times like these, people everywhere are reconsidering their budgets, recalculating their spendings and readjusting their lifestyles. It makes sense that luxury “splurge” items are suffering, but an item I didn’t expect to take a nosedive in sales at any point in this recession? Toilet paper. That’s right, people are buying less toilet paper. About 5.5% less last quarter, according to Kimberly-Clark Corp. Seriously? This is how America is cutting corners? Why give up your annual trip to the Dominican when you can simply enforce a two square policy in your home bathrooms?

According to CEO Tom Falk, “People don’t have to cut back for good; they’re just drawing on supplies in their pantries.” Thank you Mr Falk for reminding us that we don’t have to be toilet paper-less forever–there is hope for us afterall.

I mean, come on.

I’d like to take this time to blame those unloveable Charmin bears. Ever since their commercials came out I’ve been less and less inclined to purchase necesseties of any kind. In fact, my anger and unhappiness level has increased exponentially since their TV debut. There’s no way that those little pervert bears running around the forest trading TP secrets aren’t responsible for this sales decrease. It’s time someone did something. Meet me at Capitol Hill.

Strike it Up (sung in Jock Jams Voice),


Listening to: my heart and folliwng my dreams, duh.

On my mind:  Topanga from Boy Meets World had the BEST hair.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Tenille permalink
    01-27-09 10:22 am

    Topanga! Ha I love it! Wonder where she ended up…

  2. Fire permalink
    01-27-09 3:02 pm

    Last time I saw her, she was doing infomercials for some weight loss pills.

  3. 01-27-09 4:54 pm

    IF you have less money THEN you eat less THEREFORE you poop less.


  4. 01-27-09 8:33 pm

    Topanga DID have the best hair. And Kelly Kaposki. Since I’m unemployed I had the tremendous joy of watching the best Saved By The Bell episode ever made today (Jessi gets addicted to caffeine pills and the girls do a music video). It was amazing.

  5. 01-30-09 11:05 am

    Toilet Paper? Seriously? Out of all the things that people can cut back on – toilet paper?!?

    With everything that is wrong with this economy right now that is just way past wrong!!!

  6. 04-16-09 11:53 am

    this post is so priceless. pure (cash4?)gold and it comes out of nowhere… the minute i read “little pervert bears” i crack up, out loud, at my desk. every time. and get the stink-eye from my terrible desk-mate. whenever i am having a not-so-great day at work (often), i read this post. thank you, loblaw. you complete me.

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