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There’s No Place like Temping for the Holidays



Just when you think the joys of temping are reaching an all time high, Christmastime comes. With it brings a slew of moments that are a perfect hybrid between hilarious and horrifying. Hilarifying? Horrious? You decide.

The following is a list of  what happens you do temp work during the holiday season. Based on the point system.

1. The first is obvious: Holiday treats. Office spaces during the holidays are overflowing with goodies from clients and baked goods from the staff. The best part is not just getting to eat all day long, but hearing everyone complain as they walk by the snack table. “Gosh look at all of this! Its impossible to stay thin during the holidays!” Of course they’re saying this in between handfuls of Garretts popcorn and fudge. +6 pts

2. Holiday Gift Discussion.  Countless crap catalogues get delivered to offices  around this time and inevitably, women in the office will be discussing them. “Ooh a peanuts gang fleece! My niece would love that! ” (no she wouldn’t) “Oh wow a lifesize princess Di porcelien doll! My sister-in-law in Cleveland would adore this.” (50/50 chance there). Either way, you will have your earfull of bad gift ideas before the season is through. +3

3. Holiday Deliveries. As a temp manning the front desk, the 15 packages that come an hour can be daunting. Even more daunting? Walking around with your arms full trying to navigate the office. “Is Ruth Jacobs’ office around here?” Better yet is their futile attempts to explain to you where anything is: “Yes keep going past Dan Doolo’s cube, right next to the 2nd drinking fountain.” Just nod your head and embrace it. -4 pts.

4. Delivery People.If you are temping more than 2 days at any office during the holidays, you will know the fedex, ups and messanger people by name by the end of your gig. The bonus is the camaraderie, the downside is the oversharing (see my urinary tract fedex experience in my post below). +1 pt.

5. Office Parties. If you’re lucky enough to be temping when the office throws their annual shindig. THIS IS PURE GOLD. You will get the pity invite and if you’re bold, you should go. Watching everyone shmooze, flirt and say things they regretis absolute beautiful entertainment. And there’s really no cap on your behavior since you are, ya know, temporary. +5 pts.


Look closely, theyre in black leather jackets in one of em.

6. Generic Company Cards. If you are temping and in charge of mail around this season, you will inevitably see generic card after generic card from printers, clients, caterers etc with wishes for happy holidays. No one is fooled, they’re wishing for your business next year. And I’m wishing I didn’t have to see their entire staff in Santa hats. We cant all win can we? -2 pts. Actually…in light of the images below, +6 pts. 


Thank you, Olan Mills









Total pts=17. Not bad, eh? 

If you cant beat em; join em,


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