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the_office_partyTHE DREADED HOLIDAY PARTY is happening all around me. They have tried inviting me 3 times but I’ve politely declined. First was the white elephant gift exchange and now. now .NOW is KARAOKE.

This is amazingly more than i could’ve hoped to experience at just a week long gig. Theyre singing “Eye of the Tiger” right now. Three chics. Ok wow we just switched gears and Dwayne the IT guy is doin “Material Girl”.  I’m crying at my desk. I’m 3 verses away from going straight into the fetal.

Delivering packages and medical history to an office near you

FedEx: Delivering packages and medical history to an office near you

Wait. I interrupt this unbelievable story for another urgent report. The FedEx lady drinks so much apple juice that she gets urinary tract infections. She just told me this whilst I signed for a package. I was trapped into listening. She said, and I quote, “Its just so good [the apple juice] that I forget it makes me sick”.  I was all ” Yeah, it is good huh.” I hope she has an apple juice hip flask.

Aaaaaand by the time I’m typing these words they are finishing a moving rendition of “Tainted Love”. And wait, wait I think I hear the beginnings of a Snow Patrol song.  Yep, “Chasing Cars”. I kinda wanna go and sing something really inaprop like “I kissed a Girl”.

My life; your entertainment, TEMP

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